Disappointment. A Parenting Secret Weapon.
- Mar 20, 2017
- 2 min read
HOW TO PARENT THROUGH DISAPPOINTMENT
Parenting is hands down the toughest job I've ever had. It's also the most rewarding. I want to share an experience I had in dealing with my son. Up to this point I hadn't been very effective in my communication with him when it comes to him not following my instructions. As a man I reacted like he was disrespecting me and approached him in a very threatening way. Honestly my first reaction was to take that approach again. However this time, because he was late, it forced me to have time to think and then react instead of just reacting. Here is what happened.
Mini and I are headed to a fitting for a part he is casted in a Netflix Original series and he was late coming home because he stopped to play a pick up game of basketball.
This kid is 9 years old and he has accomplished more than most, but with great power comes great responsibility.
I had to sit him down and talk to him like my Pop did me. my Pop spoke to me like a man. I said, "Didn't I take you to a concert last night on a school night? Didn't you have fun? Didn't I sneak a pack of air heads in your lunch box this week? Weren't you surprised? Then why you play me like that when I asked you to hurry home so we can go to the Bronx for this fitting?" He was speechless. I could tell his mood changed from dad is upset to I disappointed my dad.
THAT WAS IT! Finally a break through! Up till this point his reaction was, dad is upset again, with now though about his involvement in making me upset. This time however he knew he was at fault. I finally was able to show him how the decisions he made impacted the world around him.
I explained to him how valuable people's time is especially on a Friday! I said, "If your teacher was late to class and you had to stay an extra hour because of it how would you feel?" He said, "I'd be upset."
The lessons I had to teach him was;
You show me you love me by doing what I asked you to because you love me.
And time is very valuable. Especially other people's time when it's effected by your actions.
The lesson I learned is that I need time to cool down and communicate effectively so the issue is resolved and doesn't continue to be a problem.
Side bar...if you'd like to see the episode of the VLOG where I take the boys out to a concert on a school night, check it out below.
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